How to Help a Loved One Settle Into a Care Home

By CareFinder Team · Published 2026-06-30 · Last reviewed 2026-09-18

You can help a relative settle into a care home by making their room familiar, telling staff about their life, routines and preferences before they arrive, keeping moving day calm, and visiting regularly while giving them room to get to know staff. Raise small worries early with the manager, stay involved in care plan reviews, and sort out paperwork, benefits and fees in the first few weeks.

Helping a relative settle into a care home starts before they arrive. A room that feels like theirs, staff who already know something about them, a calm first day and steady contact afterwards all make a difference. It is normal for the early weeks to be hard, for your relative and for you.

The tips below apply anywhere in the UK. Organisations such as Age UK and the Alzheimer's Society can offer more support.

What can you do before the move?

Make the room familiar

Age UK suggests bringing photos and soft furnishings, and possibly favourite furniture if the home agrees. Ideas:

• family photographs and pictures from home;
• their own bedding, cushions or a familiar blanket;
• a clock, radio or lamp they know;
• favourite books, music or a small plant;
• items linked to their faith or culture.

Check with the home about furniture, electrical items and fire safety first. Some homes accept pets; ask early if this matters.

Label clothes so they don't get lost in the laundry. The home may offer labelling, sometimes at a charge.

Tell staff who your relative is

Staff will care for your relative better if they know the person, not just the diagnosis. Share:

• daily routines, such as waking time, bedtime and whether they like a bath or shower;
• food and drink preferences;
• what they like to be called;
• their past work, interests and important people;
• what upsets them and what calms them.

For someone living with dementia, the Alzheimer's Society's free This is me leaflet is designed to record this kind of information for staff in any care setting.

Sort out the paperwork

• Read the contract and fees schedule, including extras and notice periods.
• Give the home copies of any lasting power of attorney or deputyship order.
• Make sure the GP arrangements, medicines and any equipment are sorted.
• Tell the organisations your relative deals with about the new address, such as their bank, pension providers and the DWP.

How can you keep moving day calm?

• Arrive at a time the home recommends, often mid-morning, so there is time to settle before evening.
• Keep the group small: one or two familiar people.
• Unpack together and put familiar things where they can be seen.
• Meet the key worker or named nurse, and tell them anything important about the first night.
• Agree when you will leave and say a warm, simple goodbye. Long goodbyes can increase anxiety.
• Tell your relative when you will next visit, and keep to it.

What helps in the first few weeks?

Settling in takes time, and it varies from person to person. Asking to go home, low mood or irritation are common early on.

Visiting

• Visit regularly, but give your relative space to build relationships with staff and residents.
• Try different times of day, including mealtimes and activities, to get a full picture.
• Share visits among family and friends so there is contact across the week.
• For someone living with dementia, keep visits calm and positive. Doing something together, such as looking at photos or going for a short walk, often works better than lots of questions.

Staying in touch between visits

• Phone or video calls, if your relative can manage them with help.
• Cards, letters and photos they can keep in their room.
• Regular updates from the key worker.

Encouraging involvement

• Look at the activities programme together and pick one or two to try.
• Keep old routines going: a daily newspaper, a favourite programme, attending a place of worship.
• Tell staff about residents with shared interests.

How do you work with the care home?

You are an important partner in your relative's care.

• Get to know the manager and the key worker, and find out the best times to talk.
• Ask to take part in care plan reviews, especially early on and when needs change.
• Raise small worries early and calmly. Age UK advises raising problems sooner rather than later.

If something goes wrong

The CMA's guide for residents says every home must have a written complaints procedure, and that staff must never discourage complaints or threaten to restrict visitors because of one.

1. Speak to the manager.
2. If it isn't resolved, make a formal complaint in writing.
3. In England, if you are still unhappy, you can go to the Local Government and Social Care Ombudsman. Other UK nations have their own ombudsman.
4. You can also give feedback to the CQC in England, which uses it to decide where to inspect. Feedback is not the same as a formal complaint.

If you think your relative is being harmed or neglected, contact the council's adult safeguarding team straight away.

What about money and benefits?

• If the council is involved, it will carry out a financial assessment. Ask for a written copy of the result.
• Attendance Allowance can still be paid to people who pay all their own care home fees, but cannot usually be paid if the council pays for the care, according to the GOV.UK eligibility rules. Tell the DWP about the move.
• Tell the council if council tax arrangements at the old home need to change.
• If your relative has health needs that seem complex, ask whether an NHS Continuing Healthcare assessment has been considered.

This is general information. For advice on funding, benefits or a dispute, contact your council, Citizens Advice or Age UK.

Frequently asked questions

Should I visit every day in the first week?

Not necessarily. Regular, reliable visits help, but some people settle better when they have time to get to know staff. Ask the home what they recommend for your relative.

What if my relative keeps asking to go home?

This is common, especially early on or with dementia. Respond calmly and with reassurance rather than arguing, and talk to staff about what helps. If it continues, discuss it at a care plan review.

Can my relative bring their own furniture?

Often yes, within limits set by the room size and fire safety rules. Ask before moving day.

What if I feel guilty?

Many families do. Choosing a care home is usually a decision made to keep someone safe and well cared for. Carers' organisations and support groups can help you with these feelings.

Can I be involved in my relative's care plan?

Yes. With your relative's agreement, or if you are their attorney or deputy, you should be involved in planning and reviews.

Key takeaways

• Personalise the room with familiar items before or on moving day.
• Tell staff about your relative's life, routines and preferences; "This is me" helps for dementia.
• Keep moving day small, calm and unhurried.
• Visit regularly, keep in touch between visits and encourage familiar routines.
• Raise concerns early, and use the complaints procedure if needed.
• Update benefits and paperwork in the first few weeks.