Caring for someone with dementia: practical strategies
By sima kornbluth · Published 2025-10-28 · Last reviewed 2026-09-18
Good dementia care focuses on the person: steady routines, calm and simple communication, meaningful activity and help to stay independent. When behaviour changes suddenly, check first for pain, infection, constipation or medicine side effects and contact the GP. Families should arrange a lasting power of attorney and a care needs assessment early, and carers should ask for their own assessment and respite.
Good dementia care starts with the person, not the diagnosis: keeping routines familiar, communicating calmly and simply, looking for a physical cause when behaviour changes, and helping the person keep doing the things that matter to them. Families also need support for themselves, and it helps to put legal and financial arrangements in place early, while the person can still take part.
This guide sets out practical strategies that NHS and dementia charity guidance recommends, and where to get help across the UK.
What does person-centred dementia care mean?
Person-centred care means tailoring care to someone's history, personality, interests and abilities. Alzheimer's Society describes person-centred care as understanding the person's history, lifestyle, culture and preferences, and seeing things from their point of view.
In practice that means:
- knowing their preferred name, routines, favourite foods, music and past work;
- offering choices they can manage, such as between two outfits rather than a whole wardrobe;
- helping them do things for themselves for as long as possible, even if it is slower;
- sharing a short life story with anyone who helps care for them.
How can you communicate better with someone who has dementia?
The NHS communication guidance suggests:
- speak clearly and slowly, using short sentences;
- give the person time to answer, without rushing them;
- offer simple choices and avoid complicated questions;
- keep a calm, friendly tone and use eye contact;
- reduce background noise and distractions;
- do not interrupt, patronise or correct them unnecessarily.
When someone says something that is not true, such as asking for a parent who has died, arguing rarely helps. Responding to the feeling behind the words ("You're thinking about your mum. Tell me about her") is usually kinder and calmer.
How do you respond to changes in behaviour?
Agitation, restlessness, repeated questions, sleep problems and aggression are common as dementia progresses. They are often a sign that something is wrong rather than "part of the disease".
The NHS guidance on behaviour changes advises checking for a physical cause first, especially if the change is sudden. Common causes include:
- pain, which the person may not be able to describe;
- constipation;
- infections, such as a urinary tract infection;
- side effects of medicines;
- untreated depression;
- hunger, thirst, tiredness, or being too hot or cold.
If behaviour changes suddenly, contact the GP. Beyond that, look for patterns: time of day, noise, particular tasks such as washing, or unfamiliar people. Small changes, like a different time for a bath or a quieter room, can help a lot.
The NHS notes that antipsychotic medicines are sometimes used short term when other approaches have not worked, and should be prescribed by a specialist such as a consultant psychiatrist. Ask for regular reviews if your relative is prescribed them.
How can daily life be made easier and safer?
- Keep routines steady. Regular times for meals, washing and bed reduce anxiety.
- Simplify the home. Good lighting, clear floors, contrasting colours for toilet seats and plates, and labels or pictures on cupboards help.
- Plan meaningful activity. Music, gardening, looking at photos, simple household tasks and short walks keep people engaged. The best activities are ones linked to their past interests.
- Encourage food and drink. Offer small, frequent meals, finger foods and regular drinks; people with dementia may forget to eat or drink or not recognise thirst.
- Think about safety. Consider smoke alarms, cooker safety devices, a key safe for carers, and a personal alarm. The council can assess the home for equipment and adaptations.
What legal and money steps should families take early?
- Lasting power of attorney (LPA). In England and Wales, an LPA lets someone choose people to make decisions for them if they lose capacity. There are two types: health and welfare, and property and financial affairs. The person must have mental capacity when they make the LPA, and it must be registered with the Office of the Public Guardian. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own powers of attorney.
- Benefits. People over State Pension age who need help with personal care may qualify for Attendance Allowance, which is not means-tested. In Scotland, the equivalent is Pension Age Disability Payment. A person with a dementia diagnosis may also be exempt from council tax or get a reduction.
- Care needs assessment. The council's adult social care team can assess your relative's needs for free and look at support such as home care, day centres or respite.
- Paying for care. Care is means-tested, and the rules differ between England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Ask for a financial assessment and check the current capital limits on your council's or government's website.
This is general information; for decisions about money, property or legal arrangements, get personal advice.
What support is there for carers?
Caring for someone with dementia is demanding, and carers' own health often suffers. Help available includes:
- A carer's assessment from the council, which is free and looks at what support you need. See the NHS guide to carer's assessments.
- **Respite care**, such as day centres, sitting services or short stays in a care home.
- Carer's Leave. In England, Scotland and Wales, employees can take up to one week of unpaid carer's leave every 12 months from their first day in a job.
- Specialist advice. Admiral Nurses from Dementia UK, Alzheimer's Society's support line and local carers' centres all offer help.
When might a care home be the right choice?
A move into a care home is often considered when needs become too great to meet safely at home, the person is at risk, or the carer can no longer cope. Look for a home registered to provide dementia care, with staff trained in dementia and an environment designed for people with memory problems. Read the latest inspection report and visit at different times of day.
Frequently asked questions
What is the most important thing to do when behaviour suddenly changes?
Look for a physical cause and contact the GP. Pain, infection, constipation and medicine side effects are common triggers, and treating them can make a big difference quickly.
Should I correct my relative when they get things wrong?
Usually not. Constant correction can cause distress and arguments. Focus on how they are feeling, reassure them, and gently change the subject if needed.
Is it too late to make a lasting power of attorney after a dementia diagnosis?
Not necessarily. Many people with a diagnosis still have the capacity to make an LPA, especially in the earlier stages. If there is doubt, a doctor or solicitor can assess capacity. If the person can no longer make one, families in England and Wales may need to apply to the Court of Protection.
Can I get paid time off work to care for my parent?
Carer's Leave is unpaid. Some employers offer paid leave or flexible working, so check your contract. Carer's Allowance may be available if you care for someone at least 35 hours a week and meet the earnings rules; in Scotland it has been replaced by Carer Support Payment.
Where can I get help at night or in a crisis?
For an urgent medical problem, contact NHS 111 or, in an emergency, 999. Many areas have crisis or rapid-response teams for people with dementia; ask your GP or memory service what is available locally.
Key takeaways
- Build care around the person: their history, routines, likes and abilities.
- Communicate slowly and simply, and respond to feelings rather than facts.
- When behaviour changes, look first for pain, infection, constipation or medicine side effects.
- Put a lasting power of attorney and a care needs assessment in place early.
- Carers need support too: ask for a carer's assessment and use respite.